Truths and Lies

I feed myself lies daily.
Lies like...
you aren't good enough.
people don't really like you.
you aren't a good mom.
you are failing Charlotte.
Charlotte deserves better.
you aren't a good wife.
you are failing Ben.
Ben deserves better.
you don't read your Bible enough.
you don't pray enough. 
you aren't a good enough Christian.
you don't read enough books.
you aren't pretty.
you are not in good shape.
you are not a good enough cook.
nobody notices you.
you are horrible at cleaning house.


(I've spoken about it before in this post.  And perhaps I just need to remind myself of the last half of that post...)

Anyway...while many of these statements are in fact, quite false...and indeed LIES...a few hold some truths.
For example...
I am NOT good enough.  I will NEVER be good enough.  Thankfully Jesus accepts me as I am, shortcomings and all.  Because HE is MORE than GOOD enough.

I can only try to be the best Mom I can be.  And "good" is only relative.  I've been given an amazing gift to be Charlotte's mommy, but really, at the end of the day, I just want her to know her DADDY (Jesus).  It's my responsibility to live my life for Christ, serving Him with my whole heart...and in the process of serving HIM, I can shepherd HIS other daughter's heart.

I will never be enough for Ben.  Only Jesus can and ever will be enough.

I don't read my Bible enough or pray enough.  Oh, I do these things daily.  But sometimes, honestly, it's so I can check them off of my "To Do" List.  And I am ashamed by that fact.

A good enough Christian??  Seriously?  Who is!?  So yeah, this is true.  I will repeat what I have before:  I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!  Because HE is MORE than GOOD enough!

I don't read enough books.  I'm not talking fiction (and I LOVE fiction), but books to spur me on in my faith.


Some of the others I didn't address also hold some truth (I could do a better job at keeping house!  And I could work out.  Period.).  But others (nobody notices you and people don't really like you)....I have a hard time shaking those lies.  I have a hard time because deep down, I really feel like these are truths.  And I don't know how to get past it.  I hate that.

Even as I type this, I can hear a voice within telling me, "People do care about you!  You are not invisible!  I LOVE YOU!  I AM ENOUGH, AMANDA!"  Oh Jesus, please make me believe it.